A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
