2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
