I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
