Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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