i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
