Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
