Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
