your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
