i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
