sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
