Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
