What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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