my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
