dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
