the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
