these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
