ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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