my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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