the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
