That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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