tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
pop tarts are not kleenex
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
