Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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