next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
