"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
