I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
