sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
