i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
