is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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