Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
