Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
