I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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