she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
