Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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