Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
