he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
