I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
