hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
