last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
