The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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