Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Can I color on your dick again?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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