i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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