Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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