would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Is Oprah even human
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
