Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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