Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
