Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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