I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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