SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
