I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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