I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
